is it okay to use diminutives when referring to oneself?

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creativeusername
Posts: 1830
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:26 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: USA

is it okay to use diminutives when referring to oneself?

Post by creativeusername »

I presently have my gender listed as "butchy trans-woman". I would rather have it listed as "butchy trans-girl", but I'm aware that "girl" is sexist when referring to an adult, which I am, and I don't want to be offensive. What are the forum rules about this sort of self-identification?

Tw added by mod: sexism(For that matter, the obvious pun on 'butchy' was intentional on my part. Was that out of line?)

boutet
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Re: is it okay to use diminutives when referring to oneself?

Post by boutet »

Mod Note:
I have added a trigger warning to your last paragraph because (1) the mention of the pun draws it into the awareness of the reader, which (2) makes the word in question now function as a coded slur. Coded slurs are specifically against our rules (see section 2.2 of http://friendsofcaptainawkward.com/forum/rules.php) and by surfacing the pun, you have violated that rule. Don't do that again.

As to your question, we allow limited use of slurs against oneself, provided they are used in a reclamatory way, and provided the slur itself is relatively minor. If someone's use of reclamatory slurs hurts other readers, we will ask you to tw such reclamatory slurs with a note in the tw itself that you have covered the use of a slur being used in a reclamatory way. If the slur is painful enough, we may not permit its use, even in a reclamatory manner. For the time being, the use of "girl" to describe yourself is allowed without a tw.

By contrast, we do not allow the use of the word you were punning on except as a direct quote, in which case it must always be covered by a tw. We advise you to refrain from making puns that turn on the use of slurs in this space, whether they are obvious or not.
Mod Note End.

creativeusername
Posts: 1830
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:26 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: USA

Re: is it okay to use diminutives when referring to oneself?

Post by creativeusername »

Thank you for your response. I see that my male socialization (I'm closeted trans-wise IRL) has caused me to act with a sense of entitlement that is harmful to others. I have decided not to put anything in that section. Thank you for your time. Sorry to have been a jerkface.

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