Reclaiming slurs (TW for use of slurs)

[GoatLady]

I think there is a lot of value in the communities concerned, e.g. us pwd (to use the one I'm part of) being able to get together and discuss what we feel would be a good policy, rather than having one imposed. I think that's where my discomfort with mods AS MODS (since I think there's at least one disabled mod?) coming in to put "tw: ableism" on a word use in a neutral/positive sense as a descriptor comes from. And you're right, Lirael, that terminology in the warning DOES make a difference in the warning.

I don't know if anyone else is on board with discussing what we'd like as policy, or if mods are on board with letting us set one, though.

[M.J.]

Mod note:

Hey folks! Due to the turn the conversation is taking I'm moving this thread to administrivia. It's always okay to ask about the rules or discuss them.

[Rose Fox]

Thanks, Elodie--I figured the subject line would be enough of a heads-up, but I appreciate you making extra sure.

[rusty]

I don't have triggers myself so I'm approaching this conversation as "how do I be a good ally to those who do." So: I don't understand why (homophobia I guess) "genderqueer" would be any less triggering than "queer."

Some history: the root word is the same. There's been a lot of discussion about the fact that the former word contains the root, and this was among the reasons for a general shift towards using "nonbinary." Can someone with more personal (or analogous) experience speak to this?

[Rose Fox]

Because no one yells "Hey, genderqueer!" at people walking down the street.

[Hershele Ostropoler]

[Antisemitic terms masked]

As a self-described yid (though not a self-described kike), I find "yid" less offensive -- even when used maliciously -- than people saying "Jews" when they specifically mean haredim or, as the case may be, settlers. Though I wouldn't say "yid" has been reclaimed.

[PintsizeBro]

I'm confused. The master note at the top of the thread says there will be non-hidden slurs in this thread, but I see people hiding slurs in this thread. If I am going to contribute, do I need to hide the slurs that I discuss?

[Rose Fox]

I think the top-of-thread warning is sufficient, but some people may be TWing out of habit.

[PintsizeBro]

Thanks for the clarification. The example I wanted to relate was about a slur that wasn't exactly reclaimed, but used in a matter-of-fact way to refer to someone else's behavior. The story in question happened in meatspace, not online, so things are a little murkier because it would be incredibly awkward to stop in the middle of a sentence to say, "trigger warning: I'm going to say a slur now."

A friend of mine, a trans woman, was having a conversation with someone else. The person asked about her relationship status and she responded, "I'm not dating anyone right now. I'm not into 'tranny chasers,' but they seem to be the only ones who are interested in dating me." Someone else told my friend that she should never use the word "tranny," even in the context she had just used it. She told me this story because it didn't feel right to her, and I have to say I agree with her.

[rusty]

Perhaps a bit like Rose's compound example above? No one gets (systematically) abused for being a chaser.... I guess my willingness to take the protestor seriously would also have to do with whether they were also a trans woman.