Friends of Captain Awkward

But first, a tangent: I would like to thank the community generally and the mods particularly for treating me with empathy and kindness even when I haven't exactly been the Best Forum Poster Ever. I'll try to be more of a positive influence around here.

So what I came here to ask was, well, after I wrote this post in the Trans* Support thread, I thought that it may help me come to terms with my gender issues if I were to list my pronouns here as "she" and its variants. However, since I've consistently ID'd here as a "male with gender confusions", I thought it might cause some confusion/annoyance if suddenly under my username my pronouns where listed differently. I realize that this is a trans*-friendly place and that I've seen no signs saying "womyn-born-womyn only", but I figure it doesn't hurt to ask permission first. It's okay to say no. I have no sense of entitlement about it, I just think it might help me a bit.

[edited title to give a better idea of the subject]

Hey creativeusername!

Firstly let me thank you for your compliments! It's so nice to hear when people like this space because we love it and we think y'all are the best community to mod and be a part of. :)

Secondly you are absolutely allowed to pick whichever pronouns you want. Experimenting is okay, going back and forth is okay. There is no rule that this has to be a settled thing and that you have to stick with whatever you picked when you came here, use the pronouns that make you feel better about yourself.

Okay, thanks. I have many brain weasels about this but little steps will probably help, thanks.

Just as a small voice of support, when I joined this forum, I was very closeted and hadn't told anyone anywhere that I was feeling uncomfortable with my gender. So I had different pronouns listed and regularly referred to myself as cis. The only thing that changed on these boards when I changed my pronouns was that people started calling me by those pronouns. The people on here are excellent and I hope it's as comfortable a space for you to figure out who you are as it has been for me.

Speaking as a mod: yes! Of course! I'm so honoured to be a part of a place where people feel safe to experiment with pronouns etc., and part of that is that we are absolutely committed to ensuring people use the right pronouns for you. Absolutely use whichever pronouns you want to, and feel free to change them.

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling pretty good about this, at the moment. I was even feeling bold enough to use my signature to request that people refer to me using a name that I think of as female (though Wikipedia tells me that it's technically unisex).

I'm happy :)

Yay! Congrats Evelyn on exploring your gender identity and having the boldness to go for a new name!