Important forum news

[capableness]

I’ve been unable to log on for a while, as my device didn’t remember my password.

This is truly gutting news. This forum and it’s members have helped so many through dark times, and will be very greatly missed.

[itsmeitscathy]

Like everyone else, I'm really sorry to read this. However, I can understand why it's the right decision. It is better to end after 10 glorious years where this site has been a core community in so many people's lives, than to stretch it past its time, until it's a shadow of itself.

I want to give my hot take: I think this is a roaring success story. I know that when I joined in 2014ish, I was very poor with boundaries and adult communication, and even believing my own version of events. Over the years, I've realised most of my I Need Helps here have been essentially "My intuition knows what I want to do, but I need to hear it from someone else, because I am incapable of feeling that it's OK to do what I want."

And there has been great advice and great community, the has been a big part of my life, for a decade.

But I have found that as I get better at implementing the cores of advice from this community, I feel less inclined to come to the forums. I wish that I had been able to give more as a Helper as well as a Helpee, but I found that when I was increasingly in a good headspace, my old problems became anathema to me.

I couldn't understand problems that used to be familiar to me, like overthinking minor interactions, or being too willing to coddle abusers, or feeling unable to leave a situation I didn't like. Those are really big problems for a lot of people, but I wonder if so many of our members eventually got enough help that we no longer had these problems at anything like the same frequency?

The healthier my heads pace was, the more difficult it was to know how to advise other people with problems that Old Me had. It could even be painful to come to a place basically centred on problems when I was building my new, different life. I wanted to come here to help other people, but the old Itsmeitscathy doesn't live here anymore.

When I have seen that former familiar name from here hasn't been online since 2016, I really tend to imagine that they no longer need the support of strangers on the Internet, and while it's sad to lose touch, it's great when people can make that step.

Maybe I'm projecting, but this is the case for me: like a good therapist, you helped me so much that I don't want to come to therapy anymore.

Thank you all so, so much for modding and posting over the years.

[boutet]

To everyone who is still here, and everyone who has already moved on, I really appreciate everything everyone has done. My life is significantly and clearly better for my time spent here. It's hard to measure these things, but there is no doubt in my mind that a lot of the good in my life now has its roots in this community. I feel a lot more hopeful for my future than I would have believed possible.

So thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope the best for everyone going forward from here <3

[lavendermenace]

Will the forums be archived in any way? I’ve written a huge amount about my life on here over the years and I’d be very sad to think that was disappearing.

[MianaAncrath]

Hi LavenderMenace,

No, we do not have the resources or capacity to hold a archive going forward.

Miana

[boutet]

Mod note:

As we said originally in this thread:
"Any members wanting to keep copies of their posts are free to take their own, however we'd ask that you respect the rules and not keep anyone's responses to your posts."

If is against the rules of this forum for any other users' post to be taken from this forum and put anywhere else. We understand that it is the internet, and there are probably services that make this possible, but please do not do this on purpose or encourage other users to do so. The users of this space posted under the understanding that their privacy would be respected inside the rules that we operate under. Taking their posts out of this space for your own use is against the rules of this board and disrespectful of your fellow users.

Mod note end.

[Zoikies]

Rats, I just learned the forum was closing when I went and looked at Reddit. I have been an infrequent and inconsistent poster but I have appreciated very much the advice and support I have gotten here. Happy Trails!

[honoria]

I guess this is Lastday

Gonna miss this community so much

Thank you all, especially the Admins

[capableness]

Thank you everyone, for everything.

There aren’t enough words, so I hope you all have wonderful futures.xxxx

[bratsche]

Ditto what @honoria and @capableness said. Best wishes to all.